Compassionate Curiosity, Grief and Manifesting Your Dream Life
¡Hola!
Welcome to Friday Feels! I'm back in the UK after 6 weeks in Mexico. Oh gosh, it was INCREDIBLE! I feel so alive and topped up after that big adventure. This 4-minute video about the “Awakening Through Trauma” retreat that I co-led gives you a good feel for the magic that happened in Mexico. My heart sings as I watch that video for the 12th time!
This week's FF packs a bunch. Are you ready? Grab a cuppa and let's catch up.
FRIDAY FEELS - WEEKLY NEWSLETTER
Here's your Friday Feels weekly email. With snippets from my world of coaching, meditation and breathwork - with the intention to share information that brings joy, wonder and self-reflection.
1. Song of the week
Mountains by Moontricks.
In the Conscious Connected Breathwork sessions I host, we breathe to music. And this is a new breathwork fav! It's a wonderful song for breathing, sensing and unwinding the body. Take a few long slow luxurious inhales and get your groove on!
2. Quote of the week
What you seek is seeking you" — Rumi
I found an old notepad in my office that was half filled in. I flicked to the last entry. In blue biro was scrawled a goal statement written out in 2018, describing how I wanted to be living my life.
It started with “I am so happy and grateful now that I travel the world to beautiful and exciting locations as a successful meditation teacher…” A big smile broke out over my face as I realise I am living the life I envisioned 5 years ago. Back then, I was still in my corporate 9-5 job as Operations Director. I had done my meditation teacher training, was investing in coaching and hosting gigs outside of work in the wellbeing space. There was much more I had written out in that goal statement that had also come true... It was a “pinch myself” moment!
Did my goal work out like I expect? Er, no! But that's been part of the adventure. All these big twists and turns that I could not have expected. For example, my long term relationship ending was a surprising and also deeply healing plot twist… I share more about my marriage ending in the last Friday Feels.
What if what you want in life is already making its way to you? What if the seeds of what you desire are ALREADY HERE in some form?
And if you doubt that, know this:
You haven't met all the people yet who will change your life.
You haven't yet met all the people who will love you.
There are places you belong and feel home at that you are yet to discover.
Stay curious about the magic of this present moment. And can you be open to receive what it is you truly desire? Trusting that it's making its way to you. “Where attention goes energy flows” - Maybe something you can play with this weekend is to allow the attention of your mind to wander, day dream and fantasise about how you really want to live YOUR life!
3. Practice of the week
Compassionate curiosity
Do you experience frustration because you feel stuck in life? Do you noticing the same patterns coming up in work, relationships or with money? Often we can get stuck in cycles of shame, guilt or self-directed frustration because we notice these patterns and can't seem to break free of them.
Compassionate curiosity is an attitude we can adopt when looking to make changes to our patterns - whether that's emotions, thoughts or behaviours. Because it's often really hard to make changes! Certainly long term ones. So if we shame ourselves, we don't actually shift the pattern and the erosion of our self-worth may encourage more unhealthy behaviours.
But having an awareness of our undesirable patterns is not enough to make the changes. Think about the number of people who know about clean eating and vow to make changes to their diet/nutrition and how short lived that can be (no shame here, just an observation! Myself included here)
Compassion is rooted in acceptance and understanding. It doesn't mean we agree or permit it to continue indefinitely. You can have compassion for yourself and your patterns, and still not have the bandwidth or availability for it moving forward. We need to first ACCEPT this is how we are, taking RESPONSIBILITY and then DECIDE to change it and take ACTION.
Here's a poem I share often with my clients about the cycles of behaviour change, and the power of taking responsibility for where we are at.
What’s far more empowering and productive is taking responsibility and preparing the ground for massive financial abundance.
Because I know this to be true: you are utterly worthy of it!
AUTOBIOGRAPHY IN FIVE CHAPTERS
I. I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I am lost … I am hopeless. It isn't my fault. It takes forever to find a way out.
II. I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don't see it. I fall in again. I can't believe I'm in the same place. But it isn't my fault. It still takes a long time to get out.
III. I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it is there. I still fall in … it’s a habit. My eyes are open. I know where I am. It is my fault. I get out immediately.
IV. I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it.
V. I walk down another street.
— Portia Nelson
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Are you ready to walk down another street in life? Myself and Keli Carpenter are hosting our free 4-hour workshop on how to break free of conditioning that is holding you back from fulfilling your potential. Join us for “How to Embody the INNER WORK” workshop this Saturday 4th March 2023 at 5-9pm GMT. Register for the free online workshop on Eventbrite here.
4. Teaching of the week
The body keeps the score
During a 7-day training with Biodynamic Breathwork near Mexico City this month, I experienced a connection to deep grief I didn't know I was carrying. Because I was pregnant once.
Breathwork is a profound tool for processing subconscious emotions. During one particular breathwork session, I tapped into the grief and loss my body felt from that experience.
This body of yours, it keeps the score. Of all past events, where the emotions weren’t given safe passage. They are imprinted emotionally upon you - energetically within the nervous system and physically within the fascia. “Our issues are in our tissues”, as they say. And my body grieves what was… I share more in this blog post.
Following me sharing this on Instagram, many women have reached out to me, offering their own stories of pregnancy loss, grief, shame and judgement. One of the ways in which we heal is when we're witnessed, with compassionate curiosity. Thanks for bearing witness to my story.
5. Client win of the week
Keeping up with self-care practices when in a space of deep grief.
A coaching client of mine unexpectedly lost a parent recently. She was already navigating the end of a long term relationship, so this death was another big emotional impact. We'd been working closely together to support her transition into this new phase of her life, looking to uncover trauma-based narratives that were blocking her from full love and self-acceptance.
She shared that there's been times were the grief has felt overwhelming. Old safety behaviours have been triggered, and old wounds are coming up. She has continued to take such good care of herself, doing the best she can to meet her needs and be available to her family in this time. It's so easy to abandon our practices when the shit hits the fan. She's been making space for movement, breathwork, yoga, cold showers, eating well, getting out in to nature. Showing up for herself even when she didn't feel like it. And she's also been asking for what she needs. Being vulnerable and asking for support from friends who have the emotional grounding and capacity to be there for her.
She's leaned in again and again, with courage. Allowing herself to crumble into tears on the kitchen floor when she needs to. To release, and to let go of needing to hold it altogether.
Warm smushy feels in our client coaching container
I have been deeply touched by her courage to keep leaning in. And to do the best to take care of herself during this challenging time.
We need each other. Reach out to those who can be there for you, if you need support.
Don't struggle alone.
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That's it for this week's Friday Feels!
Be gentle with yourself.
Big love,
Briony x
P.S. If you’ve never read one of these blog posts before, oh hey! 👋
Friday Feels is a weekly newsletter and blog where I share inspiring things from my world of coaching, meditation and breathwork. It’s my honour to share what I know and am passionate about. Thanks for sharing this space with me.
And I’d love to hear from you! Any cool things you’re studying and learning about spirituality, personal development or just general life stuff, please do share! I can even feature it in a future Friday Feels email and give you a shout out x
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DO YOU WANT TO WORK WITH ME?
I got a whole bunch of tasty things coming up, and ways you and I can explore life together! Check out my events page and what’s coming up below.
Breathwork + embodiment workshop - 5-9pm GMT Saturday 4th March 2023 - if you are feeling stuck or needing support in your life right now but don’t know where to start, this workshop is going to be a great support for you! Join me + Keli Carpenter for this free online training: https://www.eventbrite.ca/e/how-to-embody-the-inner-work-instead-of-just-processing-it-tickets-410989690227
Breathwork [subscription]: I am launching a subscription soon, so you can take part in regular online breathwork with me. Keep your eyes peeled for email updates on that!
Mindset + Business Coaching: My 1:1 coaching prices are increasing soon, so if you are interested in working 1:1, now is a good time to get in touch! ♡
“Awakening Through Trauma” Retreat: Barcelona, May 2023 - (5 Days) - after a roaring success in Mexico, Keli Carpenter and I will be hosting this retreat again! You can be held by us in this transformational 5-day retreat in Barcelona, Spain. Secure your spot here for CAD$3,300 (roughly £2,050) What can you experience at our retreat? Check out a video of our Mexico retreat we just hosted here!
Surfing + Rewilding Retreat: 4th - 9th July 2023 - (5 Days) - £825 in Newquay, Cornwall. I’m hosting breathwork sessions during this amazing, all inclusive breathwork, yoga and surfing retreat! Check out the details and get your ticket here: https://www.rewildingsurfretreats.com/retreats
