On Mexico Adventures, Endings and Conscious Uncoupling
¡Hola, lovely!
Welcome to this Mexican edition of Friday Feels!
If you are new to my mailing list, *waves* hiiiii! These are my weekly emails, packed full of useful bits and amusing bobs.
I paused sending these emails for almost 6 months. Why so?
I’ll get real with you: I’m getting divorced. Yep.
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My 11 year relationship has been gradually coming to an end over the last 6 months. And I experienced the untimely (and rather horrible) death of my beloved kitty of 15 years.
So with all that going on, where possible, I created space for myself to feel.
Because this has brought up A LOT of big emotions. It’s been very challenging at points, and also extremely healthy. I’ve felt a deep fear of my life falling apart!
I’ve felt terrified that I’m basically destroying everything I've built (what it has felt like at times). Plus a fear of hurting him. Fear of getting it wrong. Of being judged. Of going alone. Of being alone. Etc etc.
This has been a conscious and loving decision, which has also been incredibly hard. We are both on the same page, which is a blessing. I am deeply thankful to Mike for being able to lean into this with me. We have been supporting each other in this transition, working together as a team. Just like we always did...
It is somewhat surreal to work together as a team to dismantle our relationship. But that’s testament to the quality of our relationship and also the fact that Mike is a seriously awesome human.
So, yeah! That’s why I’ve had a break from my weekly emails. I had limited bandwidth to run my business, support my clients and keep my sanity. It’s been a bumpy road, to reference the song below!
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After that personal share, I want to dive once again into Friday Feels! This is my weekly email, where I share with you 5 things to support personal development and transformation! Each week I have for you a quote, a song, a practice for you to try, a teaching, and an inspiring win from a client.
Note: I will be writing up further blog posts about my trip to Mexico and co-hosting a retreat out here soon. If you want to hear more about my journey over the last few months in the meantime, I talk here about my relationship and here about BIG events on Instagram.
1. Song of the week
Lover is a Day by Cuco - Listen on YouTube and Spotify
I heard this in a cute cafe in Playa Del Carmen (where I am living and working at the moment). I felt my body bopping along and then my mind tuned into the lyrics. I asked a waiter who was singing along what the song was. I've not heard of the band Cuco before - have you?
When I looked at the lyrics, I was like “dammmn!” Some of this hits home, considering my relationship shift.
“Time changed, we're different…
I'll take the bumpy road, it'll probably break my legs…
Furthering my distance from you”
2. Quote of the week
“Suffering is an eradicable part of life, even as fate and death. Without suffering and death, human life cannot be complete.”
— Viktor Frankl
Suffering will be met by all of us at different stages of life. During the Mexico retreat I’ve just co-hosted, we dived deep into old stories and wounds of the 12 beautiful people that joined us in Solferino. They shared stories of their past hurts. Times they felt alone. Moments where they were abandoned. Rejected. Mocked. Violated…
Suffering is a hallmark of this human experience. Throughout my 9 year journey of healing and personal transformation, I’ve developed an extensive toolkit to help me when I am experiencing suffering. And I TELL YA, I’ve been using EVERY damn tool in that box in the last few months! Because it’s not about just feeling better, or trying to by-pass the suffering. It’s about learning how to lean in. Because the obstacle is the way. When we learn to feel again - to feel and express our emotions - that’s when we heal.
If you’re interested in learning more tools, myself and Soul Therapist Keli Carpenter, are launching Level One “More Than A Breathwork Training” on February 16th 2023. If you want to empower yourself and lean into your own healing with life-changing tools, this training is not to be missed!
Can you imagine how helpful this will be? Given all the triggers we encounter in life!
3. Practice of the week
Financial hygiene
I'm in Mexico for 40 days in total. I wouldn’t be here without money. I am currently living out a C-type goal (to use Bob Proctor language! One of my mentors), in being able to live and travel abroad.
I used to find money a source of great anxiety (based on childhood trauma around it). So this is huge shift that’s happened gradually for me over a number of years for me.
Maybe you have a good relationship with money. Or maybe, like I was, it is a bit fraught. Perhaps you regularly put off your finances (I recently did my VAT return sat by a pool - yes, I am one of those annoying digital nomad people now! 😉) Maybe you feel like money is both boring and stressful, like I used to.
If you feel that way, what state are your finances in? Without shaming yourself, just be honest. Because your emotions will dictate your actions.
Basic financial hygiene - getting your house in order - is a standard I set myself a while ago. If you are feeling resistance towards getting clarity on your finances, like ripping a band aid off, you just gotta turn and look at it! Getting your house in order feels soooo good. It may feel scary at first. But trust me on this. It’s utterly worth it. And totally necessary if you want to fund the lifestyle that you TRULY desire!
I love supporting my coaching clients with financial hygiene and money mindset work. Particularly female entrepreneurs and business owners. Because if we wait for the gender pay gap to close, phew! We’re gonna be here a looooong time. (And that’s also assuming that the system will actually play ball…!)
What’s far more empowering and productive is taking responsibility and preparing the ground for massive financial abundance.
Because I know this to be true: you are utterly worthy of it!
4. Teaching of the week
The importance of endings.
What were endings like for you growing up? How were the completion of things modelled for you at home? From the small things to the big life stuff…. I ask because what gets modelled for us as children often ends up being our “default mode” for behaviour as adults.
Did you finish a game of Monopoly as a kid with an argument?
Was the death of a grandparent met with a pained silence?
Did the ending of your parents marriage result in the bitter distancing of one of them?
Did you finish your GSCEs and come home to celebration? Or questions about why you didn’t do better?
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I’ve been reflecting a lot of endings, as my marriage has come to a close. My parent’s relationship did not end well. And, with total respect to my parents, I did not want to go down the same route.
There’s been times where a part of me felt hurt and scared, and I wanted to close my heart off. Or to get angry, and push him away. It’s at those points I kept noticing and staying curious: “what am I really feeling?” I'd ask myself.
Any anger I felt was actually a deep sadness about the end being here. And grief.
I'd give myself space to feel my feelings and then mindfully share with Mike what I noticed. Not throwing it at him. Or expecting him to make me feel better. I am responsible for my emotions. And we are both choosing to do this. *Big deep breath* so I choose to be both vulnerable and transparent, communicating when I noticed wounded parts of my psyche flailing up and wanting to lash out. This was with the intention of helping him understand when I was triggered and why. I tried to keep opening my heart back up and respond, rather than close my heart off and react, blaming or being in a victim narrative.
What I am experiencing is that it is possible to transition out of a relationship with love. And without it falling apart into bitterness, drama ands upset. Of course this has not been a clean and neat process! And I have had SO much support!
As a result, the death of our relationship has been the rich dark deep soil to nourish both of us as we continue to grow in our own respective ways.
We have been navigating together, as best we can, the art of completing. I am finding a new way to approach an End.
On reflection, how do you approach endings in your life,
5. Client win of the week
“Buckle up!”
She did it! A business coaching client I worked with closely over 12 months just hit one of her C-type goals (AKA big ass goals that get you totally thrilled by life!). She’s been invited to host a breathwork session at a retreat in Spain.
It is totally no surprise to me that this has happened. Because not only has she repeatedly tuned into the feeling of her goal - what it would feel like to live this! - she has taken inspired action. She continued to show up for herself and have belief that this is possible for her. Even if she couldn’t see how it was going to happen.
She’s had so many “pinch yourself” moments, as she lives our her dreams: leaving behind a corporate career that was literally killing her (her words, not mine! As her physical and mental health were suffering at her job), to follow her dreams and work for herself as a space holder.
This is the power of the 6-month coaching container, Thinking Into Results, in action!
Your whole world can change is just a few months… even weeks! I’ve seen it time and time again. And I'm LOVING celebrating her wins, as I do with all my clients.
What may be possible for you? Stay curious. And know that I believe in YOU!
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That's it for this week's Friday Feels! I'm off to cool off in the roof top pool.
Big love,
Briony x
P.S. If you’ve never read one of these blog posts before, oh hey! 👋
Friday Feels is a weekly newsletter and blog where I share inspiring things from my world of coaching, meditation and breathwork. It’s my honour to share what I know and am passionate about. Thanks for sharing this space with me.
And I’d love to hear from you! Any cool things you’re studying and learning about spirituality, personal development or just general life stuff, please do share! I can even feature it in a future Friday Feels email and give you a shout out x
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DO YOU WANT TO WORK WITH ME?
I got a whole bunch of tasty things coming up, and ways you and I can explore life together! Check out my events page and what’s coming up below.
Breathwork + embodiment workshop - 5-9pm GMT Saturday 4th February 2023 - if you are feeling stuck or needing support in your life right now but don’t know where to start, this workshop is going to be a great support for you! Join me + Keli Carpenter for this free online training: Register on Eventbrite
Breathwork [subscription]: I am launching a subscription soon, so you can take part in regular online breathwork with me. Keep your eyes peeled for email updates on that!
Breathwork training [course]: Do you want to learn about the foundations of breathwork? And also how you can use this life-changing tool to process your triggers and trauma? Check our me + Keli Carpenter’s 12-week online training, starting 16th February 2023: https://www.brionygunson.com/breathwork
Mindset + Business Coaching: My 1:1 coaching prices are increasing soon, so if you are interested in working 1:1, now is a good time to get in touch! ♡
“Awakening Through Trauma” Retreat: May 2023 - (5 Days) - after a roaring success in Mexico, Keli Carpenter and I will be hosting this retreat again! You can be held by us in this transformational 5-day retreat in Spain (exact date + location are TBC). Keep your eyes peeled for email updates on that!
Surfing + Rewilding Retreat: 4th - 9th July 2023 - (5 Days) - £825 in Newquay, Cornwall. I’m hosting breathwork sessions during this amazing, all inclusive breathwork, yoga and surfing retreat! Check out the details and get your ticket here: https://www.rewildingsurfretreats.com/retreats
