The power of eye gazing, rituals and meme-based motivation

Oh I am still floating on a high after co-hosting a beautiful retreat this weekend with my wonderful friend, Craig Seaton. So much of this week’s Friday Feels weekly email is inspired by what went on in an idyllic off-grid eco retreat nestled in the North Welsh countryside. If you’re interested in joining future retreats, drop a comment here on Instagram so I know to DM you when the time comes around again! If you’re not on Instagram, drop me an email 😀

Just a reminder about what Friday Feels is all about: There’s often a sense of excitement as we head towards the end of the week – Fri-yay and all that. I believe every day is just as exciting and deserves celebration! But let’s tap into those Friday vibe feels anyway shall we?

1. Song of the week

The Art of Letting Go by Fia (Spotify and YouTube)

I played and sang this song on the guitar last weekend at the retreat. I could feel the nerves in my body – it was the biggest group I’ve ever played and sung in front of! My face was flushed, my hands cold, my body shaking lightly. But the desire to sing was greater than the fear of doing it. Besides, even if I did fudge the chords occasionally, the lyrics give me a convenient excuse:

“No there are no mistakes
I learn every day
And the Universe is showing me the way.”

Thanks, Fia!

2. Quote of the week

“Yes you can! Just do it! If you’re tired of starting over, stop giving up.” – Shia LaBeouf (original video)

Shia LaBeouf and this epic speech were mentioned at the retreat. I find this clip both hilarious and inspiring. If you fancy a 60-second injection of “YES YOU F-ING CAN” energy, well, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? JUST DO IT. Watch Shia do his thing.

3. Practice of the week

Eye gazing. How do you feel holding the gaze of another human? Awkward? Shy? Curious? Open? I remember first doing an eye gazing exercise back in 2014 as part of an interpersonal mindfulness course I took part in. I remember squirming in my chair, finding it excruciatingly awkward. I also started laughing at one point, the way repressed giggles start wiggling out of you when you know you *shouldn’t* – my goodness that was probably one of the top 10 awkward moments of my life! But I also learnt so much from that experience, and each time I’ve done eye gazing since. And at the retreat this weekend, it was beautiful to see how people settled into the practice. As one of our retreat attendees Becky says, the eye gazing was “a crazy, trippy experience everyone should try to face our vulnerabilities and realise that really SEEING each other isn’t that scary”.

4. Article of the week

Do you have any rituals? Or regular habits that set you up for the day? Or perhaps rituals around other habits like food, exercise or sleep? Often we refer to these things as “routines” but if we can layer in the power of intention – being clear on what we are doing, why we are doing it, being more present to our actions – I believe we can cultivate a deeper joy for the moments of day-to-day life.

What about rituals for winter? In the Northern Hemisphere, as we slide into winter now, it is the perfect time to explore rituals that nourish you and keep your spirits lifted. The Wayward Sisters – AKA me, Kirsty Hulse and Osha Kay – hosted a free masterclass on rituals for Winter on Monday 1st November at 6pm GMT. You can catch the 60-minute replay here! From cacao ceremonies to cold water, we share our rituals to help you find magic in the mundane! Plus, you can hear all about why listening to Alanis Morissette and drinking whisky whilst crying is so damn healing…

5. Client win of the week

What if the pain and trauma in your life was here as a gift in some way? Don’t worry – this ain’t toxic positivity, but rather a deep curiosity about how our life experiences shape us. The pain we feel often reveals the unmet needs we have, and that awareness of this helps us understand what may be driving our motivations in life.

During a 1-2-1 coaching + breathwork session with a client this week, we gently explored her painful relationship with her mum. By being curious about the ways in which she felt abandoned by her mum, and the lack of emotional connection, she should see how that had shaped her work as an adult. My client began to realise that she had always been trying to help people feel seen, heard and understood. Because that’s what she ultimately wanted for herself. Once she realised this, she felt so clear on how she could hold with tenderness the wounds of her inner child. And she felt galvanised by the importance of her work as a coach and the world she wants to create.

As Dr. Gabor Mate says “We may not be responsible for the world that created our minds, but we can take responsibility for the mind with which we create our world.”

That’s it for Friday Feels!

Big love and a squishy hug,

Briony x